I was chatting with a friend a few days ago about choices and I decided to share some insight with you about how powerful they have been in my life, and can be in yours too. When I was about 16, I’d agreed to an arranged engagement, even though it was something that I didn’t want but I didn’t know how to say no. The fact that I didn’t have much choice in the matter felt so constricting and heart-wrenching that I had no idea how I was going to move out of this situation without disappointing anyone and still being happy within myself. Well, let’s just say that the disappointments were out of my control and my quest for happiness took me a long time to finally reach.

You know in life when you have pivotal moments, such as when someone comes into your life at the exact time that you needed them to and your life turns a different corner? Well, an ex-colleague of mine was my angel in disguise. I remember sharing with her what was on my mind, and she said these words that changed the direction of my fate and destiny ‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to’. Wow, those words blew my world open and I felt such a sense of ‘whaaaaaat?!”

“I don’t have to if I don’t want to? Really? Oh. I didn’t know that I could actually say no”. How exciting! How scary!

Over the course of my life I’ve applied these words to remind me that if there is anything standing in the way of my happiness, freedom, potential and purpose in life, then I can choose to do something about it, and alter the course of how things ‘should’ be. More often than not, it’s only me standing in my own way!

I’ve found that at a deeper level, this comes down to whether your heart is in it or not (whatever the ‘it’ might be). You know that feeling that is quietly persistent, uncomfortable even, and you try to push the thoughts of the feeling out of your mind but it’s still there? It’s as if you’re just going through the motions, you’re doing what you have to do in order to keep going, hoping that things might change or improve, rationalising and reasoning, believing that things have to be ‘this way, or that way’. Nothing has to be any other way, than the one that you choose is the best for you! When you are doing what you deeply desire, your heart is in it: you experience life with trust, happiness and pleasure.

You can have the richest friendships and relationships, you can have the most satisfying career or job, you can have an abundance of wealth, you can have the healthiest body and mentally healthiest mind. You can have this by simply acknowledging what it is that you really want and allowing yourself to dream of more than what is directly in front of you. Ask yourself, what is it that you really want instead? Trust that you have the communication skills and ability to create the life experiences that you really deserve to have. The Universe always supports you to give you what you deeply desire.

Does my ‘you don’t have to…’ list below resonate with you in any way? It’s all about choices and possibilities!

*You don’t have to stay in a job that you dislike and isn’t your life’s purpose, if your heart is not in it. Find a job you love, and it’ll never feel as if you’re working.

*You don’t have to live an unhappy life; you can choose to commit to your own happiness.

*You don’t have to be unhappy and single; you can choose to embrace single life until you are ready to be in a relationship, when your heart is in it.

*You don’t have to stay in an unhappy relationship, marriage or family if you don’t want to, if your heart is not in it.

*You don’t have to accept others opinions, beliefs and fears if you don’t want to; be true to who you are.

*You don’t have to do anything that you know deep down is not what you want, if your heart is not in it.

*You don’t have to be the person that you used to be if you no longer want to be; you can choose to evolve as person and allow your own metamorphosis.

*You don’t have to do things the way your parents did if you don’t want to, you can choose to do things differently and your way.

*You don’t have to finish a study course if you don’t want to, if your heart is not in it, you can choose to acquire knowledge that inspires you.

*you don’t have to do things that other people tell you to do, if you don’t want to and if your heart is not in it. Only you know what is the best for you, you are your own expert, regardless of the best intentions others may have for you.

The more choices you perceive, the more freedom you’ll find in any situation.

There are most definitely circumstances where duty calls, compromises have to be made and accepted and also that sometimes we may have to put our own needs aside even if we don’t want to do something. However, it is still possible to honour your needs, wants and desires for a truly happy life. Remember that you have so many choices available to enable you to be more of who you are, more of your true spirit. Only you can decide what is right for you and so by being open to more choices in life, trusting that you have the communications skills and ability to move forward, you’ll be leading a life that is what you desire!

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Excerpts taken from my forthcoming second self published book ’101 ways to overcome ALMOST anything’-Due to be published in Summer 2014. Sign up to my newsletter for regular updates.

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