A couple of months ago, I was on holiday and got to talking with some other holidaymakers. The guys asked my friend and I why we were single, and I said because I’ve chosen to be-for some unknown reason, they said ‘why?!’ off they scuttled as my friend and I continued with our evening out.
Being singe these days seems like the hardest thing that anyone can do, but really being in a relationship because you feel you CAN’T be single is even harder. I stayed in an incredibly unhappy and unsatisfying relationship for way longer that was necessary and for some years, the thought of being single was the reason that I stayed.
What I realised became my mantra that ‘I’d rather be happy and single, than unhappy in a relationship’. This was the catalyst for me deciding to banish the fears of the world (and my own conditioned fears) and trust myself, trust the Universe and have faith that when the time was right, I would be ready for my ideal relationship.
I made a vow to myself to stay single until I had understood and healed my past baggage, emotional, mental and psychological scars so that I could feel as secure within myself, trust myself and my intuition that ‘It’ll happen when it’s meant to, and you’ll know when you know’. I chose to spend those years on my inner work, asking deep and profound questions of myself, and being completely honest with myself about the negative self-talk, the BS that I fed myself about not being good enough, worthy or deserving, my flaws, failures, mistakes and imperfections.
I had also resigned myself that there is a real possibility that I may be single and never have my own family-and the strangest thing happened. Because I accepted the possibility that this may be the case, I resolved to make the most of life everyday by spending it with friends and family, focusing on my careers and dreams and discovering what fun life adventures I could say yes to. I then realised that it’s illogical to think you’ll always be single and not have your own family if you are actively living your life and seeking your own happiness. Single life is a blessing, if you choose to see it as such. The grass is always greener wherever you water it, not on the other side.
Life is today to respect the relationship you are in; whether single or coupled. Here are some ways that single life is a blessing (and so is being in the best relationship, that’s for another post )
1 . Life becomes about your own choosing-you get to do what you want, when you want and how you want.
2. You realise how much rubbish there is out there (as in limiting beliefs!) to do with being single as well as being in relationships-you get to realise that you can choose what to believe and what not to.
3. You’re in charge of designing your life as your dream life. This is the only one we have here.
4. New and different opportunities open up to you and it’s up to you to follow them or not.
5. Your self-love and self-relationship has the space and time to become your best asset.
6.You can do things differently to how you did them before! Wear what you want, be who you want, and change your future.
7. When you’re feeling lonely and sad, you really do have to find a way to love yourself, forgive yourself and be there for yourself to finally fill that void.
8. You can be the man or woman that you have always wanted to be without fear of judgement of what a partner might say-just accept yourself as you are.
9. Duvet days, check. Pjs, check. Soppy movies galore, check.All day long, check. Until you get sick of the chick flicks(!)
10. You get the whole bed to yourself!
11. You HAVE to put yourself first-you’ve no choice now
12. You become resilient, independent and self sufficient
13. Your insecurities, fears and worries show up in such a way that the only way you can move forward is by being the kindest, most loving person to yourself
14.You value yourself in ways that you couldn’t when you were with someone
15. Your vulnerability is the catalyst for inner strength and your inner wisdom to shine through.
16. You get to be your own life coach-ask yourself questions, discover your answers and walk your own unique path.
17. Singles holidays! Wow, there is seriously so much choice out there for random, fun and unique single holidays all over the world .. a great way to make new friends
18. Other things in your life can take priority such as changing jobs, traveling, saving for a secure financial future, etc
19. You get super clear on what you want from yourself, your life and others
20. You get to dream about your ideal partner . . . and then you start to manifest him or her using the Law of Attraction.
21. You decide what time you want to leave the party (unless it’s actually over!)
22. You can look back at mistakes and failures and see them as learning experiences and mistakes not repeat again!
23. You finally see what an awesome person you are and how much more to life there is than JUST finding love, you have other goals and dreams to make come true first . . . and then true love can find it’s way to you;lt’s inevitable.
24. You get to be your own life coach-ask yourself questions, discover your answers and walk your own unique path.
Your life is today, make the most of it single or coupled up-be awesome!
The grass is greener wherever you water, not the other side. Love single life, love being in a healthy relationship! Life is today to FEEL the joy of being alive xx
What is the best thing about being single for you? What has this blog inspired you to realise?