Recently, I had another example of someone being in my life – now gone – who thought it would be wise to take advantage of my kindness. What he didn’t realise was you don’t mess with me especially when it comes to my kind heart! I’ve seen the pattern too many times in my life. I know exactly where my boundaries are and I refuse to let anyone get to that line.

Being a kind person in a world of conditioned fear, control and anger can seem like the unlikeliest choice. The obvious answer would be to be just as angry, resentful or fearful as others, right?

On the one hand, the world is made up of people who are suffering, and they act out that suffering by being unkind, manipulative, violent, controlling, judgemental, abusive & more. They might act like wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Then on the other side, we have some amazing people in this world who have suffered as much if not more, who are kind, generous, honest, faithful, compassionate, forgiving, loving-no matter what.

The thing is that the people who are the kind ones are the ones who have actually been through manipulation, control or being taken advantage of many times over.

They have seen the plethora of ‘dark sides’ of people, They have come through major, major and more major adversities than a wolf could ever imagine. They have remained tenacious and persistent through daily mental fortitude & diligence.

Keeping kindness alive from their heart is the choice they make with every single decision they make.

Life isn’t about getting. It’s not even about giving. It’s about BEING. The highest LOVING version of you. When you are BEING the highest version of yourself, you are your most giving, and you are given much more in return.

I have totally lost count of the number of men and women who have come into my life thinking that they can take my kindness for granted. I’ve see the evidence in their behaviour and how they use words; they have expected more than I would normally give and tried to be underhand and sly in seeing how far they can push the buttons.

I’m generous when it comes to my time, affection and attention.And, when someone thinks they can take advantage of my time, what they don’t realise is that their pattern of taking a little more, pushing the boundaries a little more etc, is taking it too far. Once, maybe thats fine.A second time. Hmm.A third time, nah!

Here’s the thing – a kind person is NOT a fool. A kind person is NOT stupid. Nor, is a kind person naive, silly, a walkover or a doormat. A kind person knows that violence is NOT the answer-That kind person has learnt to overcome adversities, challenges, pain and suffering at the hands of other people, over and over again.A kind person always has that point of ‘cross that line, and you’re out’ The boundaries exist to ensure that they are not taken for granted.

I will always chose kindness and self-respect over the fear, control or manipulation that I occasionally come across. Every single one of us can make the choice to be the kindest, most loving version of ourselves. Empower your kindness by:

1. Knowing what your boundaries are

2. Communicating clearer what those boundaries are if someone is getting too close to the line

3. Speaking out and not internalising your accurate perceptions. It is what it is. Never ask someone if they are controlling you-they’ll control your mind further by saying ‘No’!

4. Remember, it is just the person’s behaviour patterns, NOT them innately. I do believe that we are all good people.A lot of people have been conditioned to behave and act in ways that keep them away from their own goodness. Let ‘negative’ people go-You’ll be fine. They’ll be fine.

5. Still be forgiving, still be loving, still be compassionate, still believe in yourself and others.

{Extra: Never take a kind, good person for granted. They don’t need to have you in their life, like you need them for the things that you think can get from them. Cross that line, and you’ll have to figure out the hard way that being kind is actually the way to go.}

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